1. |
Disband
01:58
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Clung to an outline
I basked in the light you projected
We dreamt of sun-drenching days
In a garden we both tended
Strange
Storm above
The days disband
And we lived every one of them
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2. |
Assimilate Strangely
05:35
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Time stood aside and it derided all the things I thought would change me
And now with a nervous mind, I find I assimilate strangely
Now that I’m leeching my past,
From all that was not meant to last
It makes all the arrangements
Fear that the streets won’t hold you, fade fast when you find they’re indifferent
Dreams of acceptance morph, into some form of its antecedent
When all our childhood fears
They conspire to storm The Bastille
All consumed and irrational
But here at the centre of all things you fear
Are all things you hold dear
So when the doubt set in, I skirted the edge of an old thought
And find myself once again losing patience locating its true source
What if all my mistakes
Were accidents I chose to make
What does that say about me?
I’m not sure I want to know
Not sure it bears repeating
Now as the years start to show
I feel my tolerance fleeting
But here at the centre of all things you fear
Are all things you hold dear
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3. |
Triumph and Disaster
04:01
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Mapping the stars and you’re scarring the land, you're not scared anymore
Caught in your path, lines you tied to your past, you cut loose of them all
Fear will take hold in your soul
Tighten its grip as you grow
But you may never know
For its shrouded and slow
Caught in your throat, scant provisional hope, now your foots in the door
Quick to expose haunts of childhood ghosts who put thorns in your thoughts
Fear that the night never comes
Or will never end if it does
And we’ll all be undone
And every failure’s hard won
So splayed out in the light you try define it
The ruse of the writer
Triumph and disaster
But you resurrected all the fear and rejection, and only you know why
Time interjected, cleared the room, forced perspective, and only you know why
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4. |
An Outline
04:15
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So we left both our lives to dismantle themselves on our behalf
And we came back wounded and glowing in the aftermath
The streets melt down and they reform strange in the night
Through the fog and feeble light its foreign but familiar. Synapses flicker
For all our gnashing teeth in the night time, scenes replayed on repeat
I knew the faint cry of my old life could never compete
So when the morning came and your features cease to distort
We took a slow and aimless walk away from the city
Where in the vein we were fighting off the seasons
And you were in search of a lie worth believing
When all that you once knew withdrew its meaning
And it all falls in, onto you again and again
So when the years just amount to bereavement and hold you in no regard
Do you exhume what you buried in your childhood backyard?
The suns on the suburbs now, but it won’t last long
They’d mowed the lawns the day that your mum died
And I was there but I was barely hanging on
And then it all just hits at once
Maybe the outline, it never was mine to fill
And in vein, we were fighting off the seasons
And we were in search of a life, worthy of leading
When all that you once knew withdrew it meaning
and it all falls in, onto you again and again
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5. |
Conditions
02:30
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6. |
Compound
02:17
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Storms passed, down to the ocean
At long last, calm with devotion
Stones cast, but now they skim along the surface
And I find the silence no longer makes me nervous
Short walk, back to the old house
Old fears, dissolve in the background
Fine times, I see you swallowed in the garden soil
And I, I feel the wind finally turning offshore
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Vanderlay IDF, France
Vanderlay is the moniker of Melbourne born, folk singer songwriter Caspar Conrick.
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