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Doubtful Sound

by Vanderlay

/
1.
Disband 01:58
Clung to an outline I basked in the light you projected We dreamt of sun-drenching days In a garden we both tended Strange Storm above The days disband And we lived every one of them
2.
Time stood aside and it derided all the things I thought would change me And now with a nervous mind, I find I assimilate strangely Now that I’m leeching my past, From all that was not meant to last It makes all the arrangements Fear that the streets won’t hold you, fade fast when you find they’re indifferent Dreams of acceptance morph, into some form of its antecedent When all our childhood fears They conspire to storm The Bastille All consumed and irrational But here at the centre of all things you fear Are all things you hold dear So when the doubt set in, I skirted the edge of an old thought And find myself once again losing patience locating its true source What if all my mistakes Were accidents I chose to make What does that say about me? I’m not sure I want to know Not sure it bears repeating Now as the years start to show I feel my tolerance fleeting But here at the centre of all things you fear Are all things you hold dear
3.
Mapping the stars and you’re scarring the land, you're not scared anymore Caught in your path, lines you tied to your past, you cut loose of them all Fear will take hold in your soul Tighten its grip as you grow But you may never know For its shrouded and slow Caught in your throat, scant provisional hope, now your foots in the door Quick to expose haunts of childhood ghosts who put thorns in your thoughts Fear that the night never comes Or will never end if it does And we’ll all be undone And every failure’s hard won So splayed out in the light you try define it The ruse of the writer Triumph and disaster But you resurrected all the fear and rejection, and only you know why Time interjected, cleared the room, forced perspective, and only you know why
4.
An Outline 04:15
So we left both our lives to dismantle themselves on our behalf And we came back wounded and glowing in the aftermath The streets melt down and they reform strange in the night Through the fog and feeble light its foreign but familiar. Synapses flicker For all our gnashing teeth in the night time, scenes replayed on repeat I knew the faint cry of my old life could never compete So when the morning came and your features cease to distort We took a slow and aimless walk away from the city Where in the vein we were fighting off the seasons And you were in search of a lie worth believing When all that you once knew withdrew its meaning And it all falls in, onto you again and again So when the years just amount to bereavement and hold you in no regard Do you exhume what you buried in your childhood backyard? The suns on the suburbs now, but it won’t last long They’d mowed the lawns the day that your mum died And I was there but I was barely hanging on And then it all just hits at once Maybe the outline, it never was mine to fill And in vein, we were fighting off the seasons And we were in search of a life, worthy of leading When all that you once knew withdrew it meaning and it all falls in, onto you again and again
5.
Conditions 02:30
6.
Compound 02:17
Storms passed, down to the ocean At long last, calm with devotion Stones cast, but now they skim along the surface And I find the silence no longer makes me nervous Short walk, back to the old house Old fears, dissolve in the background Fine times, I see you swallowed in the garden soil And I, I feel the wind finally turning offshore

credits

releases June 20, 2024

Songs and Lyrics by Caspar Conrick
Produced by Caspar Conrick and Fraser Montgomery
Mixed by Fraser Montgomery at The Aviary, Abbotsford, Australia, July 2023
Mastered by Adam Dempsey at Deluxe Mastering, Brunswick, Australia, December 2023

Recorded at
The Aviary, Abbotsford, Australia, December 2022 - May 2023
K2 Funkhaus, Berlin, Germany, May 2023
Home Studio, Paris, France, 2021/2022

Album artwork and design by Caspar Conrick

Vanderlay as recorded herein are:
Caspar Conrick - Vocals, Guitar
Josh Barber - Drums, Percussion, Vibraphone
Ben Franz - Bass
Antonio Beliveau - Piano
Jean Baptiste Doucet - Piano (Track 2)
Ryan Brewer - Piano (Track 5)
Flora Carbo - Clarinet, Bass Clarinet
Jonathan Dreyfus - Strings
Jean-Louise Parker - Strings
Jen Anderson - Strings (Track 5)
Nick Dudek - Backing Vocals
Mikaela Conan-Davis - Backing Vocals

This record was made, in part, on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. We acknowledge their sovereignty and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.

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Vanderlay IDF, France

Vanderlay is the moniker of Melbourne born, folk singer songwriter Caspar Conrick.

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